The Roles that we Play
Today has been an interesting day... a day of note. And it all started with yesterday. Today always does!
I woke up with a food hangover this morning. Dinner happened far too late last night. I broke my usual routine of eating dinner between 5 and 7 and feasted at 9. What served me yesterday did not help me today. As I trudge my heavy body and sluggish mind to the bathroom, I notice the quiet voice of my heart mention something about value. Was it worth it? Did the value of the meal outweigh my food hangover? Then comes the mirror. Game over. The stubborn, loud, insensitive voice of my mind's unhealthy self starts berating me for having bloodshot eyes and a headache. Fortunately, I have a contract with my mind and my heart (emotions/body/subconscious). The three of us are friends. We all want the best for each other! Not that we're separate... We come to a consensus that brekky will be skipped, and a coconut latté with a few coconuts (WATER) will be had. A small pranayama session gets me more motivated to pack up my stuff for the day, and I find my mental chatter quieting down. A bit.
The café brings my spirit up to about 72%. I love this place. And yet there is still a bit of mental fog that is grumbling some nonsense about sticking to routine (I know he's right, I was just hoping that he/we let it go back at our meeting with the mirror). I am unfocused. My heart always gets heavy in these states. I'm aware of that. I finish my coffee and close my eyes to drop deep into my intentions for writing. Writing and singing are my go to's for creating energy. And then it happens. A Spanish man named Eduardo gets in a scooter accident in front of the café. It's not good, and it's not bad bad. He's pretty banged up. BOOM I'm alive again. Sharp as ever. Like last night never happened. I spend 45 minutes with him, cleaning him up, getting him lots of water, helping him to the bathroom, staying awake. He's white as a ghost. The smoothy brings him back a bit. We create a friendship. His friend finally shows up to take him to the hospital, and I sit back down. I didn't realize how thirsty I was. My heart feels so full. My mind is quiet and focused. I start writing feverishly.
It's these little moments where I remember how much I love to love people. This role of caring. The caregiver.
It gives me a purpose to help someone who really needs help. I talk about purpose and intention a lot in my pranayama classes. The way I understand it is, we have lots of little, momentary purposes, and we have a more substantial, intention driven purposes. A blanket statement of purpose if you will. I love helping people!!! Be it in guided breathwork/meditation or someone in physical/mental/emotional injury. Heck, I even enjoy assisting people in moving house (it's not just for the pizza). My primary purpose is to help people out of their unconscious suffering. I love reminding people that they are beautiful gifts and that there is always an exit door from their distress.
Eduardo reminded me of that. I could see he was in unbearable pain. And yet he was capable of focusing and seeing the gratitude side of Life. He felt it. Breathed through it. He did not identify with it but shone his light even brighter with a fierce, tender heart. For Eduardo, my friends is the epitome of an opened hearted optimist. He feels his feelings, his pain. In this beautiful 45 minutes of shared experience, I found out that he is a lover, dancer, healer. I may never see him again. And still, I will call him my teacher. The best kind, of course. The Teacher of Example.
We are all here for a limited time. Death is always around us, just waiting for us to take this Life for granted, coming when we least expect it. Thank You, Life, for living through me. I am truly blessed to be your witness, in all your various forms and formlessness.